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  1. #16
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    07 trike
    Posts
    4
    A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
    Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside the cage, as her terrified, parents watch helplessly.
    The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and
    the biker brings her to her terrified
    parents, who thank him endlessly. A New York Times reporter has watched the whole incident. The reporter says, Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in
    my whole life. The biker replies, Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars.
    I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted accordingly. The reporter says, Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and
    tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?
    The biker replies, I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.

    The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed had news of his deed and reads, on the front page:

    U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

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  3. #17
    Ditch Magnet
    My Bike(s)
    2009 Kawasaki Vulcan 900 Custom
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    185
    Keeping Your Chrome Shiney

    This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.

    After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.

    A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

    After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word.

    Emboldened, he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a word.

    Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word.

    Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table. They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

    The father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes!"
    see you in infinity...

  4. #18
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    07 trike
    Posts
    4
    Morning Sex
    she was standing in the kitchen
    preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,
    wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

    As I walked in almost awake,
    she turned and said softly,
    'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

    My eyes lit up and I thought,
    'I am either still dreaming or
    this is going to be my lucky day.'

    Not wanting to lose the moment,
    I embraced her and then gave it my all;
    right there on the kitchen table.

    Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt still around her neck.

    A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

    She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

  5. #19
    M-J Lifetime Achievement Award
    My Bike(s)
    1980 Yamaha XS850 - being dismantled; 1999 Kawaski Concours
    Location
    Washington County, WI
    Posts
    13,275
    A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

    She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
    I will have to add that to my signature.
    Couldn't put "fail" across Lolo's picture, but she did come in 4th in the 100 m hurdles - still one heck of an effort.

  6. #20
    Third gear and cruising
    My Bike(s)
    2005 Black C50, 2006 Silver M50, 2003 Victory Vegas & 2003 highly customized Yamaha Warrior
    Location
    Ft. Walton Beach, FL
    Posts
    533
    Quote Originally Posted by SNAFU View Post
    However there are Dirt Bag Pedophiles, ........ they ride Honda's.

    Joking, Joking.
    That one wins the best joke of the thread contest!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. -Steven Wright
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Current:
    Chrome "Six Killer" 6061 Billet Aluminum Spike Grooved HandleBar Grips*De-paired*Custom Rocky Turndown exhaust*Lowered 2 ½”*PCIII USB*De-stickered*Clear turn signal lenses (not on rear yet)*Chrome tank seam trim*Küryakyn hypercharger*Küryakyn wide style levers*M109r mirrors*Wider/taller handle bars*Silverstar ultra headlight*OEM highway bars*Plate mount mod*Stock seat lumpectomy mod*Stock seat foam replaced/reshaped*Rerouted cables behind triple tree

  7. #21
    Puddle Runner
    My Bike(s)
    2005 Suzuki Boulevard M50 Black
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    389
    I like where this thread is going. Keep it up guys.

  8. #22
    Handlebar Consultant
    Posts
    617
    Good joke. Here is another one:











    Quote Originally Posted by YoungBloodM50 View Post
    I'm a pedophile

  9. #23
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    M 50
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    17

    Smile

    Studies have shown that 84.5% of Harleys are still on the road.Some how the others made it home.

  10. #24
    Want's A New Title
    My Bike(s)
    2012 Yamaha XT 250 (dual sport)
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    4,474
    Quote Originally Posted by tryn2hrd View Post
    Studies have shown that 84.5% of Harleys are still on the road.Some how the others made it home.
    Thank goodness for navigational systems.

  11. #25
    M-J Lifetime Achievement Award
    My Bike(s)
    1980 Yamaha XS850 - being dismantled; 1999 Kawaski Concours
    Location
    Washington County, WI
    Posts
    13,275
    If you ride a harley, that navigational system is a compass, because any of this fancy gizmometry is simply "reliance on the man's technology."

    Although I really need to buy me one of them thar electronic road map gizmos.
    Couldn't put "fail" across Lolo's picture, but she did come in 4th in the 100 m hurdles - still one heck of an effort.

  12. #26
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    harley xl 1200 c
    Location
    dartmouth nova scotia
    Posts
    21
    Quote Originally Posted by tryn2hrd View Post
    Studies have shown that 84.5% of Harleys are still on the road.Some how the others made it home.
    Best one yet..ha. still giggling

  13. #27
    Newbie
    Posts
    1
    Why don't Harley riders wave to other riders?

    Because they'll drop their tools.

  14. #28
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    2006 M50
    Location
    Deatsville, AL
    Posts
    10
    A husband and wife we talking one night and the wife asks, “If I die before you, would you get remarried?” The husband replied, “I guess I would.”
    “Would you move her into our home?” asked the wife.
    “Of course I would.” replies the husband.
    “Would you allow her to raise our children?”
    “That would seem logical.”
    “Would you let her wear my clothes?”
    “I guess, but that’s up to her.”
    “Would you let her ride my V-Star?”
    “Oh no, she already has a Harley!”

  15. #29
    Newbie
    My Bike(s)
    CB750
    Posts
    17
    sophomoric jokes are always welcome.


 

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