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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everyone,
I came to this forum hoping to get some advice for my riding anxiety. I am kind of am anxious person in general, and this sometimes carries over into my riding. I do have my endorsement. I live in a rural area and do great when I'm riding with minimal traffic. I get very nervous at intersections since I had a horrible time stalling when I first got started. I have a CSC TT250 that I found to be much easier to stall than the TW200 at my endorsement class. Once I get out of the intersection I'm perfectly fine, when I'm riding alone. I get very nervous riding with my husband because whenever we are on a 50+ road he is constantly hand motioning me to speed up and I feel pressured. My speedometer says I'm either going the speed limit or within a few mph of it. He says I need to be going 5 over at least. I am also having a hard time maintaining the correct following distance between me and my husband. It's so much different than a car. He says it is unsafe if I'm too far away. We bought these bikes so we could go out together. However I'm having more fun going out alone when im not terrified of intersections. The relationship between anxiety is riding is complicated for me because when I'm not nervous about riding it is the best anxiety relief I've ever had. I can't fixate on things in my head because I have to be completely present and engaged in what is going on right in front of me. It's really fun! Any help would be much appreciated!!
B
 

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Still crazy after all these years
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14,182 Posts
Rule #1 is always ride your own ride. Don't let your husband force you to ride in a way that you don't feel comfortable. If you are happy riding the speed limit, then ride the speed limit. Cars will pass you if they want to. As you get more experience you will get more confidence in your own abilities and you won't be focusing as much on the speedometer.

If you want to speed up the process (no pun intended), sign up for a motorcycle safety course. Taking a course where you learn more technical aspects of riding (cornering techniques, slow-speed maneuvers, riding on dirt roads, etc.) will give you more confidence in your abilities and the limits of your bike.

At the end of the day, you're the pilot of your own vehicle. Don't let anyone else force you outside of your comfort zone until you are ready to venture there yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Inspiron are you saying it is safe to ride at the speed limit? I thought it was which is why my husband has me so confused. I did take the MSF class and got through it no problem. However, when I'm alone my anxiety still surfaces at intersections.
 

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I'm sorry but I can offer only ONE comment:
Your husband is a MORON.
If he knows what he is doing makes you more anxious, then there is NO excuse for his behavior.
NONE.

You need to get more seat time alone of with others who won't push you beyond your comfort zone.

Unless you are creating a traffic hazard, going a bit slower is ALWAYS safer and more following distance is always safer too......unless there is so much of a gap that it looks like the two bikes are not together.

P.S. This "husband" problem is fairly common with wives who start riding after they guy thinks he is an "expert".
Hint: He isn't.
 

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Still crazy after all these years
Joined
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14,182 Posts
Inspiron are you saying it is safe to ride at the speed limit? I thought it was which is why my husband has me so confused. I did take the MSF class and got through it no problem. However, when I'm alone my anxiety still surfaces at intersections.
As Easy Rider also mentioned, it is safe for you to ride your ride. If you are nervous, you are going to make mistakes, which makes it more dangerous for you. If you are riding outside your comfort zone, you're going to be nervous.

Don't try to keep up with someone who is trying to push you. A truly experienced rider will adjust his or her speed to suit the "weakest" rider in a group, not the other way around. If your husband is pushing you to keep up with him, you need to find another riding partner until you are comfortable and confident enough to not care what your husband is doing and ride at your own pace.
 
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